No Where to Hide - June 1995

She's just a girl, 

frightened and scared. 

There is no where to hide that he can't find. 

No place to go 

where she can feel safe. 

She runs, but she knows where ever 

she goes, he will be there. 

Invading her thoughts, tormenting her dreams. 

When she closes her eyes, 

he is there, touching her, 

his breath on her skin, making her 

shiver. 

She's alone. No one can 

help her. Nothing 

can take away her pain, her shame

nor her sorrow. 

She's just a girl, barely fourteen. 

She remembers, 

she dreams and there is no escape. 

As the years go by and when the memory 

doesn't fade, she will know. 

She will never 

be free. He will always be there 

always a memory in her mind. 

The demon in her dreams. 

She can't run, 

she can't hide and there is no 

safe heaven 

for the girl who fears the one 

thing she can't see. 

The scars are there, emotional and physical. 

The bruises are barely gone

but not forgotten. Their mark on her heart and her 

mind. 

Forever changing the girl she would have been. 

Never Know

You don't know, 

because I can't tell you. 

You don't see, 

because I don't let you. 

Not a day goes by, 

not a minute in the day, 

that I don't think of you. 

You'll never know, 

because I will never tell you, 

you will never see, 

because I will never let you. 

The days go by 

and I still stay silent. 

Silence is my protection and 

my prison. 

There is so much that you 

can't see, because I 

don't let you see. 

There is so much that I feel, 

that I can admit, 

not just to you, but to myself. 

Silence and tears are 

my only protection. 

They are the only reminder

that I can still feel. 

They are all I have. 

You take my silence and 

private thoughts for 

hatred 

only this is far from 

true. 

I can't let you see, 

can't let you in. 

No matter how much I want 

to run to you, 

I stay still. 

Just know that no matter 

where you are, 

or what you are doing, 

you are never far

from my thoughts

or my heart. 

A Piece of Me

There is a piece of me,

one I can no longer find or feel. 

Its out of arms reach,

distant. 

There is a piece of me, 

one that I held dear 

for so long, 

that is no longer 

here. 

The piece of me that hopes, 

feels, and loves. 

I can't feel it, touch it 

or see it. 

For a moment I get a 

glimpse of it, 

I can almost feel it,

and then in 

a moment it is gone. 

This piece of me that once 

held me, defined me, 

and comforted me 

is gone. 

 I remember it, 

as the girl I once was, 

full of hope, 

and dreams that through 

the years have been 

broken. 

Its the piece me I'm not sure 

I can get back. 

Anger

A twist of anger, 

she will hold on to like 

a blanket of comfort. 

The mistake was in 

her own beliefs. 

The twist gets tighter

her looks get 

colder

and one day 

before she knows it

ice has replaced what 

was once her heart. 

Coldness now her 

comfort. 

Anger is bittersweet. 

It takes shape and forms 

a shield 

that will keep 

everyone at bay. 

Her heart 

of ice

like a tiara she 

used to wear. 

Cold and 

hardened by winter's 

unveiling. 

Anger controls and 

takes hold. 

It destroys everything 

in its path. 

She only asked for one 

thing, the one 

thing she holds dear. 

For a moment,

all was clear and the sun

started to warm the cold,

but in a moment, 

she froze.

One sentence, one word

and 

she can't undo 

what has been done.

She hears the whisper, but 

refuses to accept the title 

once again. 

To wear the title like

a crown, 

means to once again

keep her heart hardened 

and cold. 

The title that once 

protected her 

only to let her down. 

Yet it whispers and calls to her

She knows she will 

wear it

even knowing what 

it means. 

Good Night

It's dark and the moon is high, 

the stars are out 

and the world appears to be

at peace.

Slumber is but a minute

away, and 

dreams are soon to be 

on their way. 

As the day has come to 

and end, 

tomorrow will soon be 

ahead. 

Heavy eyes, ready to close,

still so many 

thoughts go through 

my mind.

As I lay down to sleep

a silent prayers 

on my lips,

a whisper of goodnight

to no one 

and everyone.

With eyes about to close, 

I lay me down

and slip into restful slumber. 

Good Night!

Divided Roads

She sits here tonight, 

with thoughts of you 

and unsure of what to do. 

The decision

not so black and white.

Torn in two 

directions and neither one

does she want to make. 

She sits here tonight 

with uncertainty 

circling her thoughts. 

Should she or shouldn't she

She just doesn't know. 

Torn in two 

directions and neither one

easy to decide. 

The road once decided

is now divided

each paths direction

unknown and

uncertain.

Her future not as clear

as it once was.

Each road points 

down a different direction.

If one were 

unpleasant the decision

would be easy. 

Her heart is torn between 

what she should do and 

what is right, 

but what she wants to do

is keep herself

from breaking in two.

I loved you before I knew you!

I loved you before I knew you,

loved you before I held your in my arms.

I knew you, before I met you.

I felt you move,

watched you grow

and gave you life.

I loved you before I knew you,

loved you the moment I held you in my arms.

I knew you when I met you.

I watched you move,

heard your cry 

and counted your tiny

fingers and itty

bitty toes.

I loved you before as I watched 

you grow.

Day by day I knew you more.

Year by year you

captured my heart. 

From your first breath to my last one, 

you'll aways be loved.

My baby you will always be.

Through your heartaches and tears,

happiness and laughter...

from the moment I knew you would be here,

you held my heart and I held yours.

One day you will be on your own

but never far from 

my thoughts.

From the day you were born,

life had a new meaning,

Being your mom

is my biggest and best 

accomplishment.

To K, A, S and M

First Love

There are moments 

that I think of you.

A sweet reminder of days gone by. 

A gentle thought in the dark.

Lazy summer days

drinking lemonade and 

walking hand in hand. 

Moments of sweet kisses and

tender smiles. 

The days have long since gone, 

life has moved us on. 

Life has taken us on different 

roads and taught us

different lessons. 

Our pages have created 

new stories 

and we have new memories 

of live lived 

and love found and lost. 

Today you are a sweet reminder

of days gone by. 

While we now have different lives 

and memories 

of a life 

lived apart,

Our story may be 

just a moment in time

but it is a sweet reminder 

and gentle whisper 

of 

one's first love.

The Darkness

Bitterness and anger, 

brokenness and emptiness 

all lead down roads

of darkness and miserable thoughts.

Dark clouds and rain 

fill the days of those holding onto 

dreams and ideas 

that should long be forgotten. 

Rage and torment are the robes 

of misery and despair. 

There is no sun in the midst of darkness,

no rays of happiness when 

clouds of misery hang in the balance. 

Love ended, 

relationships tarnished,

friendships lost

all because the shadows of darkness

hangs in the balance. 

Nothing gained and all is lost 

when misery reigns. 

Bitterness, the tough pill to swallow, 

the anger sifting through ashes 

of lost memories that 

now are the only

comfort in the never ending 

night. 

Balance is no more, 

happiness is depleted 

while the bottle is the only thing 

that ends the pain. 

Alcohol induced coma, 

soaks the memories and only 

vaguely numbs the pain.

This long and lonely road can only 

lead to even darker destinations. 

The path filled with tears and broken shattered 

thoughts of times long forgotten by

those around. 

All is lost by those who 

refuse to leave the darkness and 

enter into the light. 

image: baravavrova.deviantart.com

Truth Revealed

She struggles with the truth, 

wanting to know and 

not wanting to know.

She wonders, 

ponders and prays 

that what she feels is what is true. 

She longs for days

and nights that don't leave her lonely.

Is she willing to follow

her heart? 

The heart that in the past

has led her astray. 

Will she be able to repair the

damage done to her 

heart? 

Is what she sees what is real? 

She wonders, 

ponders and prats 

that what she sees is what is true. 

Whispered words, 

thoughts and lines all float around, 

whispering in her ear. 

Is what she hears what is real? 

She wonders, 

ponders and prays

that what she hears is what is true. 

Only time will tell

Only time will reveal 

Whether the truth is what 

she feels, sees and hears.

The Storm Inside

                        There is a storm raging inside of her, 

                                     twisting her. 

                       The bad girl trying to 

                        contain the good 

                            girl she knows she needs to be. 

                                   The storm inside of her

                      causing her pain, 

             twisting her emotions. 

                            Feelings of anger, 

bitterness, 

betrayal, 

fighting to break free. 

Her innocence an act, 

her trusting nature breaking. 

She's breaking. 

Love, a distant memory of 

heartache and pain. 

She longs to be the girl she used 

to be. 

The girl who trusted, 

who believed, 

hoped 

and saw the best in those around her. 

The storm grows, 

wanting to contain her, 

to control her 

and to break free. 

Twisted emotions spin

like that of a vicious tornado 

destructive and 

damaging. 

The storm rages inside her 

and its all she can do

to keep it inside. 

Thoughts of You

I can't explain the way you make me feel. 

The emotions that fill my head 

as I sleep. 

The soft smile that touches my mouth

as I hear your voice.

A simple hello from you

is all I need to make my day. 

There are no words to 

explain the pounding of my heart.

No words that explain

                                                         why you mean so much to me

                                              so soon. 

I feel twisted inside. 

The way your name makes me smile. 

Your voice that turns my 

stomach into butterflies 

and makes my heart melt. 

As I fall into sleep, thoughts of 

you linger and comfort

my dreams. 

As I wake you are my first thought. 

The sleepy haze I long

to keep so I can

linger in the sweetness of 

these thoughts. 

Today I dream of you, 

tomorrow I will hold you 

today I think of you, 

tomorrow I will know you.